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My Husband Wears My Clothes
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My Husband Wears My Clothes

Crossdressing from the Perspective of a Wife

Peggy J. Rudd, Ed.D

Paperback / PM Publishers / January 1993

Although this book is directed mainly to the wives and significant others of crossdressers, it contains a lot of very good advice for the crossdresser as well.  Dr. Rudd opens with her own struggle to accept crossdressing, sharing her formula for a happy marriage.  She states, "Ours is a home where Melanie can be herself without fear of rejection, embarrassment or condemnation."  She describes her concept of gender as a continuum and goes on to state that, "Crossdressers are probably ... permitting the evolution of their true identity, which is a blend of masculine and feminine traits," and that "crossdressing is love motivated."

The second paragraph on page twenty-seven, wherein Dr. Rudd's husband is sharing his story, sums up my feelings about crossdressing admirably.  "To me being a crossdresser means that I can experience all the finer qualities of life that may not fit my life as a man.  I enjoy being a loving person; I enjoy being like my mother and my wife.  For me to give up crossdressing is out of the question.  Why should I?  I believe that my reasons for crossdressing are positive rather than negative.  1) I love beauty and enjoy being beautiful; 2) I want to become more like my mother and my wife; and 3) I feel a release from occupational pressures when dressed as a woman."

There are chapters on femininity, on dealing with parents and children, and a very powerful section for wives on how to make the marriage work.  One chapter is entitled "The Effects of Suppressed Femininity".  Having read it through several times it appears to me that she doesn’t really tackle the issue.  However, in the next chapter, one specific sentence seems to sum it up nicely; "Giving up part of the personality causes death also, but the death is slow and very painful."

The penultimate chapter, for me, is the most powerful.  Here Dr. Rudd provides outstanding advice on how to love one's husband enfemme.  She states emphatically that this is the ultimate, and achievable, goal.

I highly recommend this book, to crossdressers as well as to their wives and significant others.

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